See me see wahala o!

Kai! Na wa!
Kai! Na wa! Photo credit: Google

It was a weekday, met up with a friend at a Local restaurant straight after work. I think I must have eaten something that didn’t go down well with me because shortly after  driving out of the restaurant I felt this grumbling in my stomach, you know that kind that warns of an impending “number 2”. I thought to myself “I’ll just hold it till I get home, home is just 30mins away”.  My friend needed to quickly pick something up from a colleague at the bar section of Radisson Blu Hotel. As we approached the gate of the Hotel, suddenly an alarm went off in my tummy….. Mayday! Mayday! An explosion was about to happen in 10, 9, 8, 7… I screamed at my friend to “move the car mehn!”. He drove in quickly and dropped me off at the front entrance before going to park the car. I made a mad dash….. no, more like a sprint across the reception looking for the nearest toilet.  In the four or five times I had been to this Hotel I had actually never used their toilet. That’s when it happened, from the corner of my eyes I saw this lady receptionist hurriedly coming over to meet me. The following conversation took place:

Receptionist: *Smiles* Excuse me madam, please where are you going to?

Moi: *Confused stare* Good evening, ermmmm……. (Thinking to myself do I tell her the truth or……)

Receptionist: Are you going to the Bar or Restaurant? Are you meeting somebody?

Moi: *A more confused stare* (thinking to myself “which kin question be this!”)

Receptionist: (probably reading my thoughts) Sorry madam but single ladies are not allowed unaccompanied at this Hotel.

Moi: *Irritated, bewildered, annoyed stare* (I take a look at myself, from my toes all the way up to my chest, scrutinizing my flat slippers & dark brown skirt suit! How in the World does this woman think I look like a prostitute? After all that’s the whole point of the “no single lady” policy!)

Moi: *shooting daggers with my eyes at her* Where is your toilet?

Homegirl points to where the toilet is, she actually has a sort of apologetic look on her face.  I look at her from up to down, silently hiss & continue on my mad dash to the toilet! As I was emptying my bowels (TMI), I thought to myself.  “See me see wahala oooooo!”

I know the Hotel is trying to curb what is almost becoming an epidemic; high in surge of “runs babes” where expatriates abound but madam receptionist use your brain naaa and stop embarrassing innocent, well brought up, hardworking single ladies like me who just want to chill out or in my case use your toilet! Mschewwww. Lol!